Reading Radar

What makes a second life redneck cry? Umm. Second Stress?

It’s interesting the number of comments I’ve seen lately by people on the various social networks about wanting to get away from SL, having so many commitments they are just overwhelmed by them, and really sounding like the whole thing has just become a huge obligation instead of any kind of fun at all.

At the risk of being misunderstood here, I have to say that the only cure for this is to meet whatever responsibilities you’ve set up for yourself in SL, just like you would any other, but as far as social obligations go, do things on your own time table. What I mean is, log in when you want. Don’t log in when you don’t want, aside from having a script or a build or something for a client that needs done. But don’t feel like you HAVE to be in second life otherwise. Your real friends will understand, you do have a life with things to do, and nobody is well rounded as an individual if all their energy and time goes into one thing. It’s just not possible. It’s not healthy mentally or emotionally either.

I think the people with the least stress in SL are those who log in when they want to or need to get something done, and then get back out again without having to worry about a huge stack of social obligations. I think of Airsafety as one of these individuals. He’s got stuff he wants to get done in SL, but he’s got a full life and he’s beholden to none as far as feeling forced to try to make it in. All of his friends understand. Sure, we’re glad when he’s around, and when I do see him on, I try to say “hi” and get caught up before he has to log off. But I’m not going to get upset that he’s doing things he needs to and things he enjoys that keep him out of SL.

I get the impression that some of the people with this stress don’t have that situation. That they feel obligated to log in. All I can say is that you have to get that off of yourself and be allowed to feel like you’re logging in by choice, whether it’s to accomplish something for an SL business or project, or just to be with friends. It has to be fun or worthwhile, or you aren’t going to do it. Second Life social situations cannot always be handled like real life ones, because everything you do in second life is on top of all the things you want or need to do in real life. Anyone really involved in SL has to grok that and have understanding towards those seeking balance as a result. It’s just not fair or healthy to have any other attitude.

I realize for a lot of people, this is their relaxation and fun. But when you’re online in SL, you’re often getting hammered with IM’s, reminded of things you meant to do, but haven’t had time, and generally driven to distraction. Is that really relaxing after a long day at work? If it is, great. If sometimes, it’s really NOT… hey. Stop. Log off. Get some sleep. Get some alone time without 39 people in your ear. If you’re like me, you need that downtime from having to respond to people. You need some thinking time without the world piling stuff at your doorstep. Giving that up every day for months and years on end without balance is immensely draining and stressful. And I’m convinced that’s what these people are going through.

So, really… the next time you’re in SL, and you find yourself getting sidetracked to the point of frustration at not getting something done you set out to do, log out. Say goodbye to whoever or whatever is sidetracking you, and go. Get out. Go ride your bike up a steep hill and then back down again as fast as you can. Go get some coffee. Take the dog on a walk. Read a book, shoot at the neighbor’s garage, whatever gets you feeling mentally refreshed again.

PS. More on the redneck thing later. Hehe.